Tonight, as I kissed the forehead of my sleeping five-year-old daughter, I sat beside her bed in the half-lit room and looked down at this beautiful person who traveled halfway around the world and gave me, ME, the gift of parenting her. Suddenly it struck me how fragile it all is.
How we can bring a child into our home and call them ours, or birth them and claim them as miniature versions of ourselves yet, neither is true. Kahlil said it best when he stated “You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backwards.”
God, I love that man…
His well of wisdom must have reached the Heavens.
I want so much for my daughters. I want this ideal world where judgement does not touch them, where their communities support them for who they are and that they receive relationship as honest as that they give. I want them to be empowered by those that surround them. Not made submissive. To be truly understood.
I want my girls to grow into women who do not define themselves by the perimeters of others, or society, or outdated religious ideals. I want nothing more but for them to be free to discover how blurry the line between mistake and empowerment is.
That they are two sides of the same coin and they will be free to define the two on their own terms.
They will live lives on individual paths and will not let others reroute them. That they will hold true to their own,
and will be good despite the lack of such that surrounds them. Even when every fiber of their being craves to creativly verbally assault someone. In public.
That they will be honest about their feelings.
Well, maybe not all the time…
But, YES, all the time! They will realize that their feelings are important and valid and, in that particular moment that they are felt, that they are the most true and beautiful part of themselves.
And, when they lay dying in old age, their regrets will not be in withholding themselves from the world.
Then I thought, fuck. That is not the world we live in.
I sighed, kissed my daughter yet again and silently promised to be her steady bow.