Nela

The Northern Coast

 

Port-Townsend-Sunrise-over-Admiralty-Inlet-Whidbey-Island-1030x383

The story of Nela…

Slowly, and with my tear swollen eyes closed I breath in, then I open my eyes and breath out. I am lost in the view of the Saratoga Passage drenched in the early morning light. The water is as still as glass as it reflects the painted pink and orange hues of the heavens in a form of perfection only witnessed on the edges of northern coasts. Violet, attached to my side, leans her head upon my body. When she looks up at me I see the same perfection in her purple eyes as I do in the sea. Her and I have always been two parts of the same person. Not only is she my spitting image of pale skin and long dark hair but our connection has always come freely, without complication.  With her sister Sabine, love had always been an effort in the early years. Nothing came easy for the two of us and our connection demanded a daily effort on both our parts. It was an effort that wore me down. At the time I struggled to comprehend the amount of sacrifice that raising a child required and, after her birth, I spent months mourning my new life in my bed alongside a tiny sleeping half stranger, imagining a life without her in it. I could not help but think of the life I could have had. The life I always imagined. If only I had made different choices. Oh how I had wanted to make a different choice…